I preface this by saying, I am in NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM looking for sympathy when I share this with..well, the world. I have found more and more in my adult years that I really don't "fit in" any kind of group of people. I find myself as the outsider, the joke, or just plain fool. I have shared before, that I desperately want and pray for a good group of girlfriends. Christ minded women and mothers who are walking though life the same way I am. I group to lift each other up, not judge. That's hard to find with women. Really, it is. Women are mean...and dramatic...and catty. One of my consistent prayers with God is one in which I ask for a friend. Really, just one would be enough.
Since diving head first into blogging, I have met some of the most amazing women. I do feel like I "fit in." Women bloggers just want to be themselves. We don't fit in an about me box, we need a whole corner of the internet to express and share our lives. I have met a few women that really do "get it." This gives me hope and quite honestly, something to look forward to.
In the times (past and present), I don't fit in, don't say the right things, or learn I have become a source of hatred, I hope to remember Psalm 109:4.
Psalm 109:4
4 In return for my friendship they accuse me,
When you pull back and look at Psalm 109 in its totality, it becomes painfully clear that it's one of David's most heart-breaking compositions. Obviously, he wrote it during a time of unparalleled difficulty and distress, when everything that could possibly go wrong did. Maybe it was when the sting of Ahithophel's betrayal was still fresh, or on the heels of some unrecorded conflict. Whatever the exact circumstances were, they took David to the brink of his breaking point.
And yet, there's a star that shines through all this darkness. Notice that in this state of extreme misery, David gave himself to prayer. All around him there was nothing but heartache, and so he looked up. He looked in that one direction, the only direction in which he could trust there would be a loving heart to receive him.
Sometimes, our lives parallel David's. Our enemies are multiplied and threaten to utterly overwhelm us, and even those we trusted betray us. We're attacked from every angle, except one: from above. The avenue of prayer is still open to us and unlimited resources of God's love, joy, peace, wisdom, and faith are made available to us.
When our lives seem to be racing out of control at breakneck speed, prayer is the brake that saves us. We need to use it. We need to do as David did and give ourselves to prayer when the battle appears hopeless and the floodwaters are at their highest. Don't surrender or roll over in defeat. Don't succumb to the rising tide. Dig deep, call out to God, pray! Take advantage of the one avenue that is and always will be open to you no matter what.
Hearer of our hearts, may we always and ever pursue the pathway of prayer to You.
When you pull back and look at Psalm 109 in its totality, it becomes painfully clear that it's one of David's most heart-breaking compositions.
6 comments:
Love this post Allison! Lol thats funny cause i'm always telling my hubby how dramatic girls are. That's why most of my friends would be guys. I think it was also because i grew up with two brothers so i was just used to being around guys. Of course now that I'm older and married it's different. My husband is my best friend. I do have a really good girl friend and i just love her but anyways, i can relate, love your perspective and love that verse. amen thanks girl!!!
This is a great post! I've found that some of my friendships have changed since becoming a mom. I'm sure you can relate. As I remember you posting the other day...people just don't "get it" until they become a parent themselves. I know we're already friends, but I love having more mommy friends and hope that we can become closer. Hope that doesn't sound creepy. :)
I know exactly what you mean about yearning for friendships! It's SO hard as an adult. It seems like most people already have their own tight knit group of friends from way back when and are totally satisfied with that. It's hard to make friends - real friends - as an adult. We just joined a new church and I'm trying SO hard to get involved and make some real friendships. Not just the say hi when I see you Sunday thing, but friends outside of worship time too.
Glad I've "met" you online! :)
someone posted a link to your blog on pinterest (the skinny chicken parmesan recipe) and when I read this post- I felt like I was reading words that I have felt in my heart over and over again the last few months. I have withdrawn and become a "hermit" and other than one person- nobody else has reached out or made an attempt. Has really made me question the depth of my relationships and at the same time- has made me realize that my relationship with my Father has not been where it should be... Thanks for the thoughts and for sharing!
We haven't spoken in years, but as a former member of a group of friends that rotated who they were mad at it each week...I completely understand where you are coming from. As a fellow mom, christian, and Normanite; I say you, me, and Jess plan a mommy and sons play date soon!
Stephanie! You seriously hit the nail right on the head. I told Jessica that once I decided I didn't want friendships like that, I was really not left with a lot. But you know, I would rather do the work and patiently wait for quality friendships than have "friends" like that. I'm so happy we have maintained our connection! And yes, play date for sure!
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