I preface this by saying, I am in NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM looking for sympathy when I share this with..well, the world. I have found more and more in my adult years that I really don't "fit in" any kind of group of people. I find myself as the outsider, the joke, or just plain fool. I have shared before, that I desperately want and pray for a good group of girlfriends. Christ minded women and mothers who are walking though life the same way I am. I group to lift each other up, not judge. That's hard to find with women. Really, it is. Women are mean...and dramatic...and catty. One of my consistent prayers with God is one in which I ask for a friend. Really, just one would be enough.
Since diving head first into blogging, I have met some of the most amazing women. I do feel like I "fit in." Women bloggers just want to be themselves. We don't fit in an about me box, we need a whole corner of the internet to express and share our lives. I have met a few women that really do "get it." This gives me hope and quite honestly, something to look forward to.
In the times (past and present), I don't fit in, don't say the right things, or learn I have become a source of hatred, I hope to remember Psalm 109:4.
In return for my friendship they accuse me,
but I am a man of prayer.
When you pull back and look at Psalm 109 in its totality, it becomes painfully clear that it's one of David's most heart-breaking compositions. Obviously, he wrote it during a time of unparalleled difficulty and distress, when everything that could possibly go wrong did. Maybe it was when the sting of Ahithophel's betrayal was still fresh, or on the heels of some unrecorded conflict. Whatever the exact circumstances were, they took David to the brink of his breaking point.
And yet, there's a star that shines through all this darkness. Notice that in this state of extreme misery, David gave himself to prayer. All around him there was nothing but heartache, and so he looked up. He looked in that one direction, the only direction in which he could trust there would be a loving heart to receive him.
Sometimes, our lives parallel David's. Our enemies are multiplied and threaten to utterly overwhelm us, and even those we trusted betray us. We're attacked from every angle, except one: from above. The avenue of prayer is still open to us and unlimited resources of God's love, joy, peace, wisdom, and faith are made available to us.
When our lives seem to be racing out of control at breakneck speed, prayer is the brake that saves us. We need to use it. We need to do as David did and give ourselves to prayer when the battle appears hopeless and the floodwaters are at their highest. Don't surrender or roll over in defeat. Don't succumb to the rising tide. Dig deep, call out to God, pray! Take advantage of the one avenue that is and always will be open to you no matter what.
Hearer of our hearts, may we always and ever pursue the pathway of prayer to You.
When you pull back and look at Psalm 109 in its totality, it becomes painfully clear that it's one of David's most heart-breaking compositions.