Thursday, October 27, 2011

Heart Therapy {hopes & dreams}

Time for another installment of Heart Therapy hosted by Eisy Morgan. Did you miss last week? Go here

Sheesh. This is one of those topics that will get 2 responses: Laughter or Support. 

I dream of going back to school. Those of you who know me in real life are probably laughing right about now. When I look back on my transition from high school to college, I cringe. I am a firm believer that you really have no idea what you want to do with your life at the age of 18 and that's exactly what happened to me. I've been in the work force since then and now know what I truly love to do. My source of income right now, isn't it. And that's ok. I enjoy what I do for a living, and strive to always learn more about it. I say I know what I love to do and what interests me, but really there are many things. Health care, food and nutrition, the idea of teaching fitness, and the Christian faith. What's the degree for all of that?? Right.

I also dream of being unbelievably active in the local church. I am continuing to learn how important this is to carry out God's plan for me through the online ministry I am a part of. We have recently been "church shopping" and let me tell you, its exhausting in every way possible. Ew. Thankfully, I think we have found "the one." Now, to get past this awkward hey-we-are-the-new-people stage and really get plugged in (I hate that phrase). There were a lot of things that disappointed us about our previous church, which I won't go into boring detail about, but it was a devastating hit when we realized it just wasn't where we needed to be anymore. Pressing forward with our new church home, I see this dream a little more obtainable. 

Now this one is bound to get a lot of laughs. I dream of having a really good group of girlfriends. Really, I would just be happy with one. I don't know why it is so hard for adult women to be good friends (myself included) but its truly sad. Women are vicious. I dream of having a few very good friends who are close to where I am in life and who know the Lord. 

And lastly, I dream of the wedding I never had. I  promise I'm not trying to be Debbie Downer, just her cousin. Again, I'm not going to go into a lot of detail, but YES, I DID GET PREGNANT OUT OF WEDLOCK. I promise I don't need you to judge me because there is someone much greater than you or me that has that covered. We planned to get married after bambino was born (because no one wants to be that postpartum bride) , but it was really on our hearts to make that covenant with God before Austin arrived. So...2 months before I was due, we made the agreement with each other and our families to get married then but have a real wedding 365 days later. Our previous church pastor married us, but the event itself was a hot mess. There were no plans of any kind, no communication, and our marriage license was even lost. Austin promptly arrived and my worst nightmare became reality. No one really cared about following through with that wedding we all talked about. In fact, the general response was that I was ridiculous for even wanting one. What was the point? Oh, I don't I could have photos documenting the day I dreamed of for like ever. So I could buy a real wedding dress, not one that could only fit a huge pregnant woman. So that I could show all my family and friends how much I love my husband. I don't regret getting married when we did. I just regret dreaming too big. 

Moooooving on. 

I hope to honor my husband as I have been commanded to. 

I hope to be an active, involved parent. 

I hope to give up more of myself to gain more of Christ on a daily basis.

I hope to be satisfied with the work I have done at the end of each day. 

And now, a little comic relief. 


Jennifer Harrington said...

Allison, I really enjoyed reading your post. I couldn't agree with you more about wishing you had girlfriends, or even "couple" friends that are grown up, and just want an actual friend.
And as far as wanting a wedding - that is completely understandable. I really hope you're able to get one, and the exact one you want. I thoroughly enjoyed planning my wedding (P.S., I did it 100% by myself - there's the no actual, close friends thing again). So if and when you have your big, lavish, well-deserved wedding, I would love to help you in any way I can.
I look forward to reading more of your future blogs. :)
- Jennifer Harrington

Allison said...

You are the best! Thank you for taking time to read my ramblings! :)

{K} said...

This is a great post!! I have some of the same dreams... especially about having close Christian friends and being a good wife and mother.

I hope you'll settle in to your new church soon and make some great friends! :)

I was also pregnant when I got married and regret not having a real wedding.

I'm a new follower via the Thursday blog hop.

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